Celebrate!

So I turned 18 today...

But celebrated last night at Mother's Korean Grill with the fambam and friends.

And I got to see most of my close friends so it was really nice.. Thanks for a great birthday!

TOS

so, i got the final two of my wisdom teeth pulled out yesterday.
swelling is minimal & bleeding is even less.
i'm only taking 1/4 of my painkiller dosage & i feel fine.

sometimes, my body pulls through for me.

also, let us make this clear.
i do not favor things because it is simply different.
not because i believe that it is unique or just because no one else has it.
no, those are not reasons to like things.
i like certain things because something about them appeals to me.
they may be popular with everyone else or i may find myself to be the only one who does like it.
either way, i will not pretend or modify my tastes because of another's.
it is my opinion and no one else's.
it may be influenced but it is certainly my own.

yes

new semester.
i am ready.

relief

i get a shot at redemption.
let's make sure i don't mess this up.

thanks for the second chance, universe. i really appreciate it.

bask in the evening light

a conversation during a Back to the Future marathon:

me: do you know why people want to build time machines so much?
little sister: to save the world?
me: what?
little sister: from romulan aliens or super buff austrian robots
me:…
little sister: i know! knowledge
little sister: to like, find out how the dinosaurs really died and stuff
me: well, that’s a good reason, but what’s the main one?
little sister: to win the lottery?!
me:…
little sister: oh, i know
me: mmm?
little sister: regret.

*i totally want a 1985 DeLorean.
also, they lied to us. it's almost 2015. where are my hovering cars? my hovercams? my auto-wash&dry jackets? my robots? eh? all we have are cutesy electric cars, Facebook, snuggies and kindle. what's going on here? i demand answers.

ride it out

it was good.
chilly but good.

"decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight.
indecision is a dull one that hacks and tears and leaves ragged edges behind."

une triste journée

lasagna della casa & grilled portabella panini with sweet pepper and onion relish. yum.
i'm very excited to see lovely bones & cracks.
eva green is so lovely.
also, legion & iron man 2 :D!
who wants to go to the movies with me?

invictus was good.

382

emerson said to "live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air."
maybe i will, ralph. maybe i will.

anywho, i am in much lighter spirits today.
i hope you've all ushered the new year with joy.
i spent that night drowning my regret in debauchery- & i am much better now.

have a lovely day.

precipice

i made a mistake.
a huge mistake. something that will affect me for the next ten years or so, maybe even longer. i feel awful (understatement). & the worst part is that i'm not even exaggerating. it was a mistake that will reverberate far into my life.

i had it- it was within my grasp.
i needed it, i really did. it wasn't an object of want or simple desire, it would have been a necessity.
& because i am the way that i am, i lost it.

i can't blame anyone but myself- not that i had any intention of doing so.

have you ever had that?
a time when you thought everything fit neatly together? when your puzzle pieces have begun to mold the final picture? when the burden on your shoulders began to lift? only to find that you started to relax way before you should have?

& in a split second, everything came tumbling down.

& in that moment of perfect ruin, you saw exactly what laid ahead. you see the path that you set and yet obstructed for yourself. you saw opportunity pass you by, waving a mocking goodbye, with a cruel taunting smile.
i saw that.
& the clarity of what i had done came and slapped me right across the face. it would have been perfect. but the dream is gone. i try to tell myself that perhaps it wasn't meant to be. perhaps someday i will see that it would have been better this way. but i can't. i'm a pretty logical, rational person- even an optimist at times- but i just can't see it.

this is not the best way to start a new year.

*anyway, i'm sorry that this is dreary. i don't mean to put a damper on anyone's holidays. these pictures are much lovelier than how i feel at the moment. i hope they can make you happier than they can make me.
i'll be posting pictures of my holidays over the next week.

Let Me Just Say

Rain's concert was the most amazing thing ever.

This was without a doubt the best Christmas ever.

My friend Don called me out of nowhere on Christmas eve to tell me he got me a ticket for Rain's concert on opening night and I ended up going with Kim Do who was one of Rain's stunt doubles in Ninja Assassin. Rain is truly phenomenal live. And that is an understatement.

BUT I had already bought a ticket for Christmas day. So guess who saw Rain's concert twice?

The second time I was lucky enough to sneak some pictures and some fancams. :]